Your reflection captures something a lot of people live through but rarely put into words: the way trauma rewires the body to interpret care as danger. It’s powerful (and heartbreaking) how you describe wanting closeness while your nervous system prepares for war. That push-pull between longing and self-protection is so real for anyone who grew up in unsafe environments.
I really appreciate how you connected your reactions to both neuroscience and attachment patterns. It helps remove shame from the conversation—these responses aren’t “overreactions,” they’re learned survival strategies that kept you alive. And the way you notice your body’s instinct to fight or shut down, even when affection is present, shows such a deep level of self-awareness.
Your point about living with a volatile parent reigniting old patterns also hits hard. It makes sense that your nervous system would slip back into those familiar defenses; you’re not failing, you’re adapting to a stressful dynamic you never chose.
And that side note about “an eye for an eye”—I get it. When someone’s behavior is consistently harmful, it’s human to feel that pull toward retaliation. The fact that you even question that impulse shows growth.
Thank you for sharing this honestly. It’s a reminder that healing isn’t about “just accepting love,” but slowly teaching the body what safety actually feels like. You’re doing the hard work, even in the midst of triggers. Keep being gentle with yourself.
Thank you so much for your beautiful reflection. It’s truly been a journey — especially noticing the tension my body holds around love and even in the simple act of trying to live well. I’m learning that my nervous system is doing exactly what it was trained to do through experiences of abuse, neglect, and instability. So I appreciate the way you highlighted aspects of this that I hadn’t fully recognized yet.
I also apologize for responding a bit later than planned — life has been a lot lately. Ironically, I’m actively working on teaching my body that it does deserve love and closeness, and that safety doesn’t always have to mean bracing for the worst.
Thank you for seeing the complexity behind my words and intentions. I’m genuinely grateful for the conversations we’ve shared here on Substack. I hope we continue to engage and learn from one another, because your insights, kindness, and perspective have already made an impact. Wishing you a wonderful rest of your day, and thank you again for being such a supportive presence during this season of growth for me.
Your reflection captures something a lot of people live through but rarely put into words: the way trauma rewires the body to interpret care as danger. It’s powerful (and heartbreaking) how you describe wanting closeness while your nervous system prepares for war. That push-pull between longing and self-protection is so real for anyone who grew up in unsafe environments.
I really appreciate how you connected your reactions to both neuroscience and attachment patterns. It helps remove shame from the conversation—these responses aren’t “overreactions,” they’re learned survival strategies that kept you alive. And the way you notice your body’s instinct to fight or shut down, even when affection is present, shows such a deep level of self-awareness.
Your point about living with a volatile parent reigniting old patterns also hits hard. It makes sense that your nervous system would slip back into those familiar defenses; you’re not failing, you’re adapting to a stressful dynamic you never chose.
And that side note about “an eye for an eye”—I get it. When someone’s behavior is consistently harmful, it’s human to feel that pull toward retaliation. The fact that you even question that impulse shows growth.
Thank you for sharing this honestly. It’s a reminder that healing isn’t about “just accepting love,” but slowly teaching the body what safety actually feels like. You’re doing the hard work, even in the midst of triggers. Keep being gentle with yourself.
Thank you so much for your beautiful reflection. It’s truly been a journey — especially noticing the tension my body holds around love and even in the simple act of trying to live well. I’m learning that my nervous system is doing exactly what it was trained to do through experiences of abuse, neglect, and instability. So I appreciate the way you highlighted aspects of this that I hadn’t fully recognized yet.
I also apologize for responding a bit later than planned — life has been a lot lately. Ironically, I’m actively working on teaching my body that it does deserve love and closeness, and that safety doesn’t always have to mean bracing for the worst.
Thank you for seeing the complexity behind my words and intentions. I’m genuinely grateful for the conversations we’ve shared here on Substack. I hope we continue to engage and learn from one another, because your insights, kindness, and perspective have already made an impact. Wishing you a wonderful rest of your day, and thank you again for being such a supportive presence during this season of growth for me.