Forgiveness is often praised as the answer, yet sometimes it just can’t happen. If the wound is too deep or responsibility is denied, pushing yourself to forgive may only add pain.
All my life, I've honestly struggled with being forgiving or simply forgiving people mostly because of the ol' toxic family dynamics where I'm from. And I realized over time as I've tried to find more understanding within myself, that it's definitely going to be hard and it is really hard, but once the hump is crossed over, the struggle eventually eases and I've been able to internally say "I'm done. Do you. I don't care anymore. You're not going to transfer your shame to me. I'm out."
Exactly! It's still taking me some time in some areas, but I've learned that I can't control what I cannot control. Still, just because I forgive doesn't mean I'll forget or let it slide in the future, if there is a future.
My family's all over the place, but very good with withdrawing from situations. Sometimes I'm baffled by it, especially when they talk crap afterwards or that one person who assumes they know everything under the sun. That's a journaling journey within itself. 😭😭😭 But for another time, not today.
You know, I need to adapt this mindset. I'm slowly in the accepting phase, and it is... It's a freaking journey. Recently, someone close kept it real with me, but instead of getting mad and reacting, I just accepted it because they wasn't lying and based on my actions and words alone, it was something I needed to hear.
I feel my kids dad is similar to what you're describing. He's excellent, hands down, with doing what is needed to be done. However, as a parent, he's a little rough around the edges. Still, I'll do my best to support and respect most of his parental decisions. Many moms my age refuses to think this way. For me, I get tired from all the arguing and debating.
Anyway, thank you so much for going at a slower pace with me. I'll stop by your newsletter again soon. NGL, if you see my name pop up a lot of times, I am a binge reader. Heh, especially if it's really good (which I know your work is really good). Stay safe!
All my life, I've honestly struggled with being forgiving or simply forgiving people mostly because of the ol' toxic family dynamics where I'm from. And I realized over time as I've tried to find more understanding within myself, that it's definitely going to be hard and it is really hard, but once the hump is crossed over, the struggle eventually eases and I've been able to internally say "I'm done. Do you. I don't care anymore. You're not going to transfer your shame to me. I'm out."
Exactly! It's still taking me some time in some areas, but I've learned that I can't control what I cannot control. Still, just because I forgive doesn't mean I'll forget or let it slide in the future, if there is a future.
My family's all over the place, but very good with withdrawing from situations. Sometimes I'm baffled by it, especially when they talk crap afterwards or that one person who assumes they know everything under the sun. That's a journaling journey within itself. 😭😭😭 But for another time, not today.
You know, I need to adapt this mindset. I'm slowly in the accepting phase, and it is... It's a freaking journey. Recently, someone close kept it real with me, but instead of getting mad and reacting, I just accepted it because they wasn't lying and based on my actions and words alone, it was something I needed to hear.
I feel my kids dad is similar to what you're describing. He's excellent, hands down, with doing what is needed to be done. However, as a parent, he's a little rough around the edges. Still, I'll do my best to support and respect most of his parental decisions. Many moms my age refuses to think this way. For me, I get tired from all the arguing and debating.
Anyway, thank you so much for going at a slower pace with me. I'll stop by your newsletter again soon. NGL, if you see my name pop up a lot of times, I am a binge reader. Heh, especially if it's really good (which I know your work is really good). Stay safe!